Mending a Broken Heart

We have all felt heartbroken at times and sometimes nothing seems to be able to shake off that horrible, empty feeling. If your partner has left you or something else bad has happened there are various ways to help you get over it and the saying ‘time heals' actually does apply, even if you are not feeling especially optimistic about anything at the moment.

You cannot force yourself to feel better but some tips on getting over the pain include the following:

• Spend time with family or friends. Having people you care about around you while you are going through a hard time can help enormously and remind you that you still have love in your life and the person who hurt you or broke your heart is not the only one that can make you feel good. Confide in close family members or friends about how you feel. Acting brave when you feel that you are falling apart is not healthy. If crying makes you feel better, cry. If you want to talk, talk. If you don't want to discuss it then obviously you don't have to. People react differently to these situations and you should do what gives you relief.

• If a relationship went wrong, perhaps it was for the best. It might not seem like it now but if you cannot get along with someone, maybe it is best that you found out when you did, not five years down the line when you have children and a lot more at stake if you split.

• Keep yourself busy. Which is going to make you feel better? Moping around the house with a box of tissues, a bottle of wine and photos of the person who broke your heart and dwelling on everything or going out for a walk, shopping or some other enjoyable activity? Meeting new friends when doing a new activity is a possibility and can help you to feel less lonely even if you have to really push yourself to go out.

• Acknowledge your feelings. If you had a shock and your partner left you or did something terrible, understand why you are feeling the way you feel. Don't be angry at yourself if you seem to be tearful, depressed or unable to concentrate properly on anything. Allow yourself time to grieve. Losing somebody from your life that you loved can be like having somebody die. Ignore people making statements like ‘snap out of it' or ‘well, we didn't like him anyway' - that's hardly going to make you feel better and other people can only imagine how you feel, not know for sure.

• If you are brokenhearted because you finished a relationship try not to be too hard on yourself. You obviously had your reasons for leaving a partner and if the relationship wasn't working out, it was for the best. Of course you are going to miss the person but you will feel better eventually.

Maybe the most important thing to know about healing a broken heart is that it will happen. You might feel terribly low at the moment but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Feeling brokenhearted is awful but one day you will be able to look back without feeling the same pain. When that happens, you will know that your broken heart is mended and you can get on with your life and enjoy what each new day brings.